In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
