I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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