i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Congratulations! We have a period
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