After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
