I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
