kristin has been a bad kristin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize