Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
