I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
