Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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