I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Michael Bay diarrhea
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
