oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
