well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
