I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
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