Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
