so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
