would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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