I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
