I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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