I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
