I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
