Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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