I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's shark week go big or go home
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
