If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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