My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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