I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
