Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
