I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
