After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
