i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
