i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
