hotel room ftw
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
