She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
