She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love having hate sex.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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