My liver just broke up with me...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
