I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
