I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
