Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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