$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
