He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
