it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
