Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
