You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
