bring money and cleavage
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
