Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
