i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
