you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
