If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
