yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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