She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I need a beard to bite.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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