It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
