just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
